Starting Now: Discipline, Focus, and Protecting My Peace

I used to believe that real change only happened on January 1st.
New year. New goals. New version of me.

But the truth is—waiting almost cost me my peace.

This year, I decided to stop delaying my growth and start choosing discipline, focus, and healing now. Not when it’s convenient. Not when the timing feels perfect. But right where I am.

Why am I waiting when tomorrow is not promised?

Choosing to Start Before January 1st

Every year, I convinced myself that I would start working on my goals at the beginning of the new year. I told myself this time will be different. I would be more consistent. More disciplined. More focused.

But this year, I chose to try something different. I stopped waiting.

I’ve been seeing more people embrace the idea of starting now instead of waiting for a “fresh start,” and it resonated with me deeply. There is something powerful about choosing yourself in the present moment instead of postponing your growth. Waiting had become my comfort zone, and comfort was slowly costing me the life and peace I desired.

My Theme: Disciplined and Focused

I like to choose a theme that encompasses all of my goals. While I do have individual goals, the foundation of all of them comes down to two words: discipline and focus.

I chose this theme because I have a pattern of starting strong and not finishing. I come in motivated and excited, but when things take too long or don’t go my way, I get discouraged and quit. This time, I’m holding myself accountable to finish everything I start—no matter how uncomfortable it gets or how long it takes.

“This time, I’m holding myself accountable to finish everything I start—no matter how uncomfortable it gets.”

I’ve been praying and asking God to give me discipline and focus, and He has truly been answering those prayers. I have never been this focused or disciplined in my life. Do I get off track sometimes? Absolutely. I’m human. But the difference now is that I don’t give up. I reset, refocus, and keep going.

A Year That Changed Me

This past year felt like a roller coaster. When I was up, I was high. But when I was down, I was down bad.

I went through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend of three years—someone I truly believed I was going to marry and build a future with. That was my first time living with a man and taking care of someone other than myself. I did things for him that I had never done for any other man, believing we were going to go the distance. I ignored red flags because I trusted his words more than his actions.

I also experienced the end of a 10+ year friendship with my college friends. I was certain we would be in each other’s lives forever, and letting go of that chapter hurt deeply. But sometimes, longevity doesn’t equal alignment.

For the first time in my life, I also stood up to my mother. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I had always been afraid because she is my mother, and in my eyes, she could do no wrong. But there came a point where I could no longer silence myself to keep the peace.

Choosing Clarity Over Comfort

This year, I gave up alcohol and marijuana—two things I never imagined I would let go of. But without them, my mind has been clearer and my spirit more at peace than ever before.

Proverbs 23:29–30 says:
“The soothing comfort of alcohol is only temporary. Real relief comes from dealing with the cause of the anguish and sorrow and turning to God for peace. Don’t lose yourself in alcohol, find yourself in God.”

That scripture convicted me deeply.

“My mind and my life have never been this peaceful until I found my way back to God.”

I also became celibate, which was honestly the biggest shock to me. But surprisingly, I haven’t missed it. Instead, I’ve been working on healing my relationship with God and strengthening my connection with Him. I’ve released the anger I carried toward people who hurt me in the past, and now, what once triggered me no longer has the same power.

“I stopped choosing comfort and started choosing clarity.”

Protecting My Peace Is Intentional

Protecting my peace required hard decisions. It meant letting go of people, habits, and versions of myself that no longer aligned with who I’m becoming.

“Protecting my peace required letting go of people, habits, and versions of myself that no longer served me.”

I’ve returned to old hobbies that once brought me joy, rediscovered my purpose, and finally feel aligned with the woman I’m becoming. Peace isn’t passive—it’s intentional. It takes discipline. It takes focus. And it takes faith.

Ending the Year With Gratitude

There were many ups and downs this year, but as it comes to an end, I can honestly say there were more ups than downs. Even the painful moments taught me lessons I needed to learn.

I’m excited about the healing journey I’m on and the new adventures ahead.

I encourage you to reflect on your year. What were your highs and lows? What lessons did you learn? And how will you apply them moving forward?

This year, I’m not waiting for January 1st to change my life. I’m choosing discipline, focus, faith, and peace—starting now.

Happy New Year, sis. 🖤