Choosing Yourself, Even When It’s Lonely (Part Six)

One thing no one talks about enough in healing is the loneliness that can come with it.

Healing can be isolating. Choosing yourself can feel quiet. And growth often creates distance between you and the people, places, and patterns that once filled your time. At first, that silence can feel uncomfortable—even scary.

There were moments when I questioned whether choosing myself was worth it. Moments when I missed familiar conversations, old routines, and versions of connection that no longer aligned with who I was becoming. Moments when loneliness crept in and whispered that maybe I was doing too much, changing too much, asking for too much.

But healing taught me this: loneliness isn’t always a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes, it’s confirmation that something is changing.

Choosing yourself means you stop settling for surface-level connections. It means you stop forcing yourself into spaces that drain you. It means you stop shrinking to make others comfortable. And when you do that, some people will naturally fall away—not because you’re better than them, but because you’re no longer available for what once felt familiar.

That part hurts.

But it also heals.

In the quiet, I learned how to sit with myself. I learned how to listen to my thoughts without distraction. I learned how to enjoy my own company without needing validation or noise to fill the space. I learned that being alone is very different from being lonely.

Loneliness is temporary.
Self-abandonment lasts much longer.

Choosing myself meant choosing peace over popularity. It meant choosing alignment over approval. It meant trusting that God was preparing me for healthier connections, even if I couldn’t see them yet.

There were seasons when it felt like God removed everyone at once—not to punish me, but to teach me that my identity doesn’t come from who stays. My worth doesn’t come from who chooses me. My value doesn’t decrease just because my circle gets smaller.

Healing doesn’t isolate you forever—it refines you.

And in that refinement, you become more intentional about who you allow close to you. You learn that genuine connection doesn’t require you to compromise yourself. You learn that the right people will meet you where you are, not where you used to be.

Advice for Anyone Struggling With Loneliness in Healing

If choosing yourself feels lonely right now, here’s what I want you to know:

Don’t run from the quiet—it’s where clarity lives. Use this season to reconnect with yourself, your values, and your faith.

Trust that loneliness is not your final destination. God often removes distractions before He introduces alignment.

Stop romanticizing old connections that required you to abandon yourself. Missing familiarity doesn’t mean it was healthy.

And remember: choosing yourself isn’t rejection—it’s redirection. You’re not losing people; you’re making room for better.

I’m still choosing myself—even on the days when it feels uncomfortable. Even on the days when it feels lonely. Because the peace I’ve found is worth the distance I had to create.

And I trust that everything meant for me will meet me where I am—not where I used to be.

Stay tuned for the rest of this journey.