From Bitter to Better: Choosing Peace Over Revenge
I used to be a vengeful, argumentative, angry person. When someone hurt me, I made it my mission to hurt them back—twice as hard. I wanted people to feel every ounce of pain they caused me. I didn’t care what I had to do to make them feel it.
But healing taught me something revenge never could:
I don’t have to fight every battle. I don’t have to argue. I don’t have to get even. God handles what I don’t need to touch.
It is not my job to make sure someone suffers the consequences of their actions. That responsibility belongs to God, not me.
Learning to Hold My Peace
My boss and I have a complicated relationship. She micromanages, plays favorites, and often disrespects my position. Recently, we had a meeting about an upcoming event. I offered an idea, and the entire room nodded in agreement. She immediately shut it down and moved on to the next person.
Old me would have snapped.
Old me would’ve raised my voice, challenged her, or even walked out.
But this version of me—the version that values peace more than pride—stayed silent. I chose not to argue. I chose my composure.
Then came the situation with my sister. She argued with me about something that happened between her and my mom. I stayed calm. I listened. I shared my perspective, not to cause conflict, but to be honest. She didn’t like it.
Still, no arguing.
Later, I spoke to my mom about the same situation. I explained how I saw it from my point of view. She didn’t like it either. Yet again, I refused to go back and forth. I kept my voice low, steady, and calm. And when the conversation no longer served me, I walked away.
It happened again with a friend seeking advice about getting back with her ex. She argued with me while trying to justify her decisions. I simply told her:
“Whatever you decide, I support you. It’s your life to live.”
And that was that.
From Reaction to Reflection
I share all of this because I’ve learned something powerful:
When people cause you pain, disappointment, or frustration—don’t become bitter. Become better.
People will do what they want, even if it hurts you. You cannot control their choices, their emotions, or their reactions. But you can control how you show up.
Bitterness drains you.
Peace grows you.
Since letting go of revenge, arguments, and bitterness, I’ve found space to:
Focus on my goals
Live in my truth
Strengthen my voice
Rebuild my self-esteem
Protect my peace without apology
Choosing peace doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re wise.
It means you no longer allow others to pull you into chaos that doesn’t belong to you.
What they say, do, or choose is on them.
How you respond is on you.
