Pain Into Purpose, Part 3: The Weight You Weren’t Meant to Carry — Releasing What Isn’t Yours
Life has a way of piling things on our shoulders—responsibilities, expectations, opinions, and burdens that were never ours to begin with. Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re carrying them until our bodies ache, our minds feel heavy, and our souls cry out for relief.
I’ve been there. For years, I carried the weight of other people’s drama, other people’s judgment, other people’s insecurities. I tried to fix what wasn’t broken, manage what wasn’t mine, and heal people who refused to help themselves. I thought I was being “strong,” but really, I was overextended, exhausted, and disconnected from myself.
And then I realized: I wasn’t built to carry everything. I was built to carry me.
Recognizing What Isn’t Yours
The first step to releasing what isn’t yours is identifying it. Ask yourself:
Whose opinions am I carrying as truth?
Whose mistakes am I taking responsibility for?
Which situations drain me instead of nourish me?
What expectations from family, friends, or society am I trying to meet at the expense of my peace?
These burdens can be emotional, mental, spiritual, or even physical. They aren’t yours to hold, and carrying them doesn’t make you stronger—it keeps you stuck.
Why We Carry Other People’s Weight
We often pick up the things that aren’t ours because of love, loyalty, or fear:
Love: “I have to help, even if it costs me.”
Loyalty: “I can’t let them struggle; I have to fix it.”
Fear: “If I don’t do it, they’ll be upset or disappointed.”
While these feelings are natural, they can trap us in cycles that block growth, peace, and purpose.
How to Release What Isn’t Yours
Acknowledge it: Admit what you’re carrying and how it affects your life. Awareness is the first step toward freedom.
Set boundaries: You cannot control how others act or feel, but you can control what you accept into your space. Saying “no” is not selfish—it’s survival.
Shift responsibility: Stop taking ownership of other people’s emotions, choices, or consequences. Their lives are theirs, not yours.
Pour into yourself: Replace the energy you once spent on others with love, care, and focus on your own growth.
Seek guidance: Prayer, meditation, journaling, or therapy can help untangle the weight you’ve carried for far too long.
The Peace That Comes From Letting Go
Once I began releasing the weight that wasn’t mine, I noticed immediate changes:
My mind felt lighter.
My relationships became healthier.
My energy returned to me.
My soul finally had room to breathe.
I realized that the peace I’d been searching for wasn’t somewhere “out there.” It was waiting inside me, hidden under all the burdens I had been carrying.
Your Invitation: Release and Rise
Take a moment today to identify one thing that doesn’t belong on your shoulders.
Let it go. Even if it feels uncomfortable. Even if others don’t understand.
You are not meant to carry everyone else’s weight. You are meant to carry yourself—whole, light, and aligned with your purpose.
When you release what isn’t yours, you make room for growth, joy, and the woman you are becoming.
